When you make the decision to become a parent, you and your spouse/partner go on a journey of the unknown with your child where you are making parental decision based on how you were raised and your life experiences.  The responsibility you are given is enormous and at times the guidance you should provide and the path you should lead are not always very clear.  The only things that are certain is you can’t go back and change your decisions, and your child will continue to grow up one way or another.

Their growth gets marked by many, many little milestones that start with their first words, first laugh and first steps.  These milestone help mark time and their growth as a person.  Each milestone seems to get bigger and more consequential and each one is a little celebration of the person they are becoming and your relationship with them.

This spring our daughter Isabelle graduated from the University of Vermont with a double major in Physcology and Poliital Science.  While at UVM she ran Division 1 track and studied abroad in Spain for a semester.  Throughout her 4 years in college she reached many milestones culminating in her graduation this May.  In a month, she’ll be moving to DC to start her job in public relations.  From my perspective, this transition feels like the milestone of all milestones. In our eyes she has transitioned from being our child who is dependent upon us to an adult who is responsible for her future in all areas of her life.  Of course, we will always be there to support her and be a sounding board but she be ultimately responsible for her financial and personal success.   To me the only other life milestone that is comparable is if she becomes a mother her self some day.    

At this milestone, you want to celebrates all that they have achieved and the adult that they have become but two questions become apparent.  First, how will she do on her own.  Have we provided all the tools needed for her success and her ability to overcome lifes obstacles on her own.  For Isabelle, the answer will most likely come to a resounding yes.  She has always been a force in life and one way or another she’ll find her way.  She also has a great sense of living within her means, calmly finding solutions to problems and a vision of her future.

The second question is whether my wife and I are ready for the next chapter.  Have we thought enough what we want to do with our additional freedom.  As empty nesters are we ready for the quieter house and potentially slower schedule.  I do feel very confident in where we stand but I also know that it will require a lot of work from both of us.  I’m fine tuning my listening skills and limiting my desire to problem solve everything. As we enter this chapter it’s clear to me that our plan will have many changes and being open to giving up control is going to be paramount.

In the end, it’s a milestone that deserves celebration but also one that reinforces the importance of having good conversations, planning for what comes next and the preparing for the unknown.  We couldn’t be more proud of Isabelle and look forward to all that she will accomplish.  We are also looking forward our new opportunities to grow individually and as a couple.